Worry

I hate uncertianity. It binds me up and blocks me from everything of value. Sometimes I think worry is a genetic trait passed down from my mother which she got from her mother. See if it is genetic you can't be blamed for passing it down to your own children. REALITY IS...it is a learned behavior. Yes, I learned how to worry over everything from my mother. She still to this day makes me call and let her know when I have arrived home after visiting her...quite annoying to me.

There have been some things come up in my own life that has made me worry. And others have said to me "What good is worrying about it?" They have a point. I am trying not to let it consume me, but the tears and fears of the situation still creep up and steal moments of my day. I get lost in "what if's".

I know that I should turn it over to God. Oh how cliche' that sounds. And I know the verses concerning not being anxious. I am seeking God that He works on me and takes the burden away. Boy isn't that hard. I keep wanting to take it back or demand an answer. Sometimes the waiting for the answer is harder to take than the answer itself.

Prayer:
Lord, you know my struggles and insecurities. Work in me to be the person of strength you know I can be.

Those things need to go!

I never realized exactly how stressful moving or selling a home really was but I do now. I also know I have watched entirely too much HGTV. I decluttered to the point of packing off everything for storage and sending the dogs to grandparents and my husband teased me about putting the kids in storage. If fact, I decluttered so much when my friend came over to help me "stage" my house I didn't have anything to stage it with. That meant a shopping trip to buy cheap items to place around the house. Now that was a bit fun!

All this preparation to move also made me aware of the things I had left neglected in the house. Like painting the laundry room or cleaning out closets full of stuff from living in the house for ten years. Why was I hanging on to those things? Sentiments I suppose. Well, when faced with the ominous word "DECLUTTER" I quickly got rid of items that have stayed around longer than they should.

The word Declutter means: to remove clutter from: to tidy. That got me to thinking about other clutter in my life. Habits and people who clutter up my thinking and prevent me from being the person I am destined to be. Do you have things in your life that stop you from being who you are meant to be? I know I do. I have issues. I know you are so shocked. Well one of those is a compulsive behaviors to over do things. I am one of those people that you give me one task and I am going to do it to another level. You can see this in my version of decluttering. If it wasn't so large I couldn't box it, off it went to storage or trash. The same is true of my running and other aspects of my life. It is something I monitor now. This behavior gets in the way of who I am suppose to be a lot of the time. I don't come up to breath and become so focus on the task that the world around me fades away. That's a problem when you are married and have children. For some odd reason they still want my attention.

Of course, some of my living clutter are people who are in my life. Some I need to move out of my life because they don't bring the best out in me. You know the kind that you fall into patterns of gossiping or they encourage you to make bad choices that are harmful to you. Or those who just bring out the worst in you. Yep, those are the ones I am talking about. I have a few in my life and I am sure you do to. Those are the ones I have to say "bye bye" to and move on. Will I feel bad about it? I probably will I have a crazy need to make everyone happy but I know it is for the best because in order for me to live up to my full purpose I need to be real and see what is preventing me from doing so. So goodbye clutter and hello to a life of real potential!

Down for not exactly the count...

I know that I have neglected writing about running lately. I want to fill everyone in. I have successfully run my twenty miles last Saturday. IT WAS AMAZING. Just knowing that I could run that far blows me away. But that is where the happy ending comes to an end.

All during the run, I had pain in my foot. But then I have had some sort of pain through the training. Runners have pain and I have learned to run with it. On Tuesday, I was supposed to run seven miles, I made it two. My foot hurt and I had trouble wearing shoes. Time to go to the doctor again. Let me just tell you, I am hardly ever sick but since I started training for the marathon, I have had the swine flu, shin splints, and odd pains in the base of my foot. I have seen my doctor more during this training period than in the past five years. And now I was going to see him again. Like any other slightly techno-savy person, I looked up foot pain for runners. On that list was stress fracture and my pain fit the majority of the symptoms. I guess I could have just self medicated and diagnosed but I went to the doctor. My x-ray armed doctor told me not run and instead cross train.

So with that, I am swimming. Can I just say I severely dislike swimming? I mean no offense to my fellow athletes (I have decided after all my injuries I can say I am an athlete) but I do hate swimming. I now drive to the next city, slide into a swim suit that isn't the least bit flattering, put on goggles that leave round marks on my face for hours afterward, and swim back and forth. The only thing to look at while swimming is the bottom of the pool unless you are looking up briefly to grab air so you don't end up on the bottom of the pool. Okay I will stop with the pity party and complaining now.

The race is in four weeks, I go back to the doctor on Wednesday to find out what I need to do next. I haven't crossed White Rock off my list yet. There is a great passage in the book of James on perseverance. James 1:2-3 says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything."


Okay, I am certain that James wasn't talking about training for a marathon but you work with where you are at so I can see the relationship between my training for the marathon and my walk as a Christian. In life, we are faced with trials, the loss of a dream, the loss of a child or spouse, a missed opportunity, financial troubles, who knows what trials you will face in your life. But if you keep your focus on Christ and look at the trials as an opportunity to grow then the trials in your life can lead to joy. Sounds a bit easy doesn't it? It isn't. I know this first hand. When trials head my way I respond one of two ways, I attack back or I cry and go into my own pity party. I'm sure you know what I did this last time. Yep, tears galore but after a good crying jag I had to look at the situation differently.

Yes, I have a set back and my first response was to give up but I'm not. I have to continue to persevere until the end. I may not run this race but I will know that I did everything in my power to succeed. This is the same with my Christian walk. I want to do everything in my power to do what God has created me to do and be. I don't want to let my life situation stand in the way of attaining that. With perseverance, I know that I will find joy in this experience. Though this trial I am learning patience, endurance and the ability to continue when life gets tough.


All through the Bible there are examples of men and women who didn't accept difficult times passively but instead face it with a courageous perseverance. Endurance can't be learned passively from books, lectures, the wonderful preacher behind the pulpit or even blogs. It has to be learned by living it and trusting and obeying God. It is then that trials can bring joy and glory to God.

214 Miles

Eleven weeks ago I could run maybe two miles without stopping. In the past eleven weeks I have run 214 miles in preparation for my first marathon. Let me tell you every one of those miles tells a story of its own. Some of those stories are fun and others are full of pain.

This past weekend I ran eighteen miles. During a long run many things can happen both good and bad. The beginning of this long run was amazing. My legs were pumping and eating up the ground like a kid does chocolate cake. I had an amazing attitude and was laughing and talking to my running mates but by mile twelve everything changed. No, it didn't happen all at once but that is where the struggle began. My endurance was taxed and I started to doubt if I could finish. Now at mile sixteen, I stopped dead in my tracks. I didn't want to run anymore. My body was exhausted and I just didn't believed I could run another step. The call to quit echoed through my mind. I hated running at that moment. What on earth was I thinking to try to even run a marathon. Who did I think I was? Superwoman? Ever feel like that? You doubt everything you are trying to do? Usually this is where I will stop, flop on the floor and say I'm done. I didn't this time. Jenn was there to talk me into running. Okay actually she said "You can't quit. We only have three more miles. You'll be mad if you don't finish."

I needed that pep talk. If she hadn't been with me, let me tell you I would be writing this and the title would not read "214 miles." I looked up how far that was from my house. It is like running to Oklahoma City from Joshua, Texas. It's okay to be impressed. :)

Okay I will never qualify for the Boston Marathon but hey that isn't my goal. My goal is to finish the race and if I finish dead last that doesn't really matter in the big picture.

I have found that the more I train the more I desire to learn about running and fitness. I subscribe to running magazines, read articles about running and stretching online. I devour everything I can find to prevent injury. This makes me think about being a Christian. Have you noticed that when you are reading your Bible daily, taking time to meditate on His word that you hunger to know more. I know that there are times when I struggle to fit God into my schedule and it is during those times that I lose sight of what an awesome Father He is.

How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts! Psalms 92:5

Scripture taken from Holy Bible: NIV

My trip to the Mountain

I was a a guest at the Great Banquet and I was able to sit down with my Father for 72 hours. I attended the Great Banquet at Oak Cliff Presbyterian Church in Dallas, Texas over last weekend. During this time I was cut off from the outside world no phone, watch, computer you get the picture. It was a life changing experience. I looked at my life and really examined if I really am living my life to fulfill the great commission. During that weekend the answer that glared at me was no. Looking at me from the outside you would never guess that I didn't have that part of my life together. I mean I ran the Christian Book club at church, directed VBS for four years, taught Sunday School, attended the church every Sunday and of course I had this blog. It wasn't as if I was a bad person or anything. Most people thought of me as sweet and kind. The problem was I didn't always do things joyfully. Often it was an obligation. What I learned during this time was that God calls us to worship and serve Him with a joyful heart. He does want our obedience but He wants it out of love. He wants us to desire to follow Him. If you ever get an invitation to spend 72 hours on the mountain with God be sure to take advantage of it; the time spent will make living in the valley more peaceful knowing that you are loved even when you don't deserve it.

Resting in God's Love
Donna

Contentment

There are times in my life when I am so dissatisfied with my house, my car, clothing, and even at times my family that I feel overwhelmed with frustration. Do you get like that? How often do we keep searching for just the right shoes, or maybe we just are never satisfied with the car we own or the house we live in? I am constantly changing the arrangement in my living room because I just can't get the furniture to just the right place and who doesn't love to go shopping. These are all signs that we are looking for something to make us content. No matter where I place my couch and end tables I will only find contentment in the love of Christ. No matter how many cute pairs of shoes I own only He will make me happy. I think many women and men for that matter, are searching for contentment.

We are designed to love and have a meaningful relationship with Him. Without that meaningful relationship with God we find ourselves at a loss always looking for more. In Psalm 90:14 ( NIV)"Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for you and be glad all our days". We can only find satisfaction in His love for us. Nothing on this earth can fill that void. But it seems we continue to try to fill it. We are made for more than this world can offer. There will never be enough love, friendship, intimacy or anything else for us. Have you found yourself dissatisfied with your life? Everyone falls into this at some point. I have never been one to memorize verses but I have decided I should start. This week I am memorizing Phil. 4:12-13. (NIV) I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry whether living in plenty or living in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I hope that you will join me. This Scripture reminds me that no matter what is going on I can find contentment in Him.

This made me think of all the evacuees from the coast that have no home to return to. I was watching on T.V. this woman who had lost everything she owned. It was swept out into the gulf. She no longer has a home to go to and is living in a shelter. What was amazing about her was that she didn't moan and cry. She had peace about it. Now it never said that she was a Christian on the news but I believe she must have been by the way she handled the situation. She was leaning on something greater than herself.

This summer we had about seventy people go to Mexico to build small block houses for some families who had nothing. The people where very grateful for all our mission team provided for them but the mission team received more from those families who had nothing of material value. The mission team saw first hand what it means to be content in Christ. These people who had no shelter for their children displayed to these Americans mission workers from the land of plenty that contentment is not in what you own but who you serve. I have decided that I am going to change my blog a little and every Wednesday, I hope to include a short devotional not so much for my readers but to remind me who I serve. I also want to extend a pray to all of my readers. If you have a prayer request please let me know.


Father,

Thanks you for all that you have given me. Please forgive me of the times when I let my discontentment get into the way of knowing you better. Please lift up my readers and friends that they will find contentment and know that you will satisfy their needs.

Amen

Ready or not middle school here he comes!

He will never let me stumble, slip or fall. For he is watchinh, never sleeping. Psalms 121:3-4

My oldest son will be entering middle school next year and I have to say I am terrified. He will be entering the unknown sort of like a twilight zone. I don't know of anyone who says "Oh to be thirteen again" or "My middle school years were the best years of my life." No, most people remember those times as painful. A struggle to find out who you wanted to be and normally not finding it. I remember how vicious other girls were to each other at this age. This past weekend he had several boys over for a sleepover in a tent in the backyard. Most of these boys I have known since they were in preschool and kindergarten. I have seen this group of boys grow up together all going to different schools in different districts. There is one common factor though, they all have been brought up in strong Christian schools. I believe that this has given them a foundation to build their identities on. They know that they are loved by not just their parents but God. These children have a head start in finding out their purpose in life.

Closed Doors

Those who know me well know that I am not the most organized and I will never win " The Neatest House" award. Today, I wished that I had taken the time to invest in a little house cleaning. We are having tile put down in the bathrooms today. I understood we would only be doing one bathroom today and another next week so with that assumption I did not clean my bathroom nor my bedroom. I simply did what many would do and shut the door saving it for a more convient time. If you shut the door it goes away, right? I remember in a philosphy class there was a philosopher who said that if you can't see it then it doesn't exist. I took this philosphy to heart when relating to house cleaning. After the men finished putting the tile down in the front bathroom, they asked to move on to the second one. Which you guessed it was in my room. I stuttered and hem hawed a little and finally said "Can you give me a sec to move the stuff out." and rushed to my room. We are not just putting tile in the bathroom but the master closet also. I am a confessed stasher so you can imagine how much I needed to move out. I grabbed the dirty clothes that were currently acting as a carpet in the bathroom and shoved them in the hamper and rushed to move shoes and other items from the floor of the closet. I am amazed at how many pairs of shoes I own but don't wear but we will save that for another day. Needless to say, I have sent the day in my home with no toilet to use and a realization that just because you can't see it, it is still there.

This can relate to how we treat our faith. How often do we put our faith in a closed in area of our life only taking it out when it suits us? Having faith in God is something you have to work at. You have to invest time to create a relationship with him. This means spending time reading His Word, praying and listening to Him. Have you spent enough time getting to know Him or are you pulling the door closed and waiting for a better time?

Are you using your talent?

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. Ecclesiastes 9:10

Have you ever really wanted to do something but you did not have the talent? I have always wanted to sit down at a piano and play a wonderful melody and one day after many lessons by a patient teacher that dream may come true. It is not that I have not played an instrument in the past. During middle school and my first year of high school I played, well let me correct that, I held a saxophone during band class. A lot of my lack of ability is due to the fact that I did not practice and refused to lug the beast home.

I did not play my instrument with all my might and it was not a passion or a talent I had. God has given all of us gifts to use for His Glory. The church is often described as the body of Christ. Often we try to do things that really are not a talent we posses. The hand cannot do what is meant for the elbow to do. By using our talents God knows that we will be filled with contentment. Are you using the gifts God has given to you?

A real princess

Tuesday nights are my oldest son's soccer practice and as usual we were running late. My daughter was wearing her Cinderella costume and there was not time for her to change so she went in her costume. To my amusement both of her older brothers were not impressed with her clothing selection and begged me to keep her in the car during practice. I did not do this as she was so proud to be wearing her princess outfit in public.

When we arrived at the practice Mitch ran off to join his team and the two younger one went to play on the slide and swings. At the end of practice as I was walking back to the car with my children, my daughter picked up a dandelion and blew on it to make a wish. I asked her what she wished and she said to be a real princess. She does not understand that she already is a princess because she is a child of God.

You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13-14

God's Plan Isaiah 55:9

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:6

I read this scripture today and it struck me that I am always questioning God just like my children always ask "Why?" when told to do something they don't really want to. We often get caught in this dialogue with God asking him constant questions when things do not go the way we want them to go. What we fail to realize is that God's wisdom is greater than ours. We only have a speck of understanding.

I could ask why for the rest of my life and I will not know the answer. Today we have knowledge at our fingertips with computers, media and books. I know on my cell phone I can see what time the movie is playing at the local theater or one in another state. All of my knowledge is just a tiny blip in God's grand plan. If we surrender our lives to him and follow him everything will work out for our good. Of course bad things are going to happen to us. We will lose people we love and sickness will still happen, but in the end we can rest assured that God has a happy ending for our lives if we have given it to him and follow his plan.